One of the most effective ways to handle potential problems is to plan for their arrival.  As the holiday season approaches, most of us are familiar with the issues we are going to be faced with. They might include:  constraints of our finances or our time; loneliness, sadness, and challenging family dynamics.

The following article is meant to help you think differently about managing challenges during the holidays.  I encourage you to devise strategies, which may allow you to spend more time enjoying yourself, and less time stressed out.

Stressor number 1: Money
Many people feel stress this time of year, especially around spending money.  Perhaps it’s  money you don’t really have, or you’re spending money on frivolity rather than paying down your debt.   Political leaders might claim that the recession is “officially” over, but there are a lot of families who will be recovering from the recession for  years to come.  A solution may be to create a list, a budget, and then stick to it!  Challenge yourself to be creative with your dollars. Some creative gift giving ideas may include turning your family holiday dinners into potlucks,  shopping at discount stores,  or dare I say it:  buying “new to you” items.

If you find yourself feeling compelled to spend  money during the holidays, stop and ask yourself these questions:
Is my ego involved?
What is the consequence of my spending money on xyz?
How can I create a meaningful experience without going over budget?
How does spending my money in this way add to a more rich and fulfilling holiday season?

With the holiday season comes a more hectic schedule and stressor number 2:  Time crunch.
This can mean added pressure to attend events,  for social or professional reasons. There is the family dinner, office parties, client events, gatherings with friends.  Among it all you may be expected to work longer hours.  And don’t forget the extra time you’ll need for holiday shopping.

You  may have to travel long distances to get to your celebrations, which is another way your valuable time runs out.  Prioritize what you want to do vs. what you have- to-do.  Make time for relaxation and “me” time.

If you find yourself struggling with time management and commitments, stop and ask yourself these questions:
Who do I most want to spend time with?
How can I fulfill my obligations and have a joyous holiday season?
How am I going to deal with any hurt feelings?
What, overall, is going to cause the least amount of stress and the most joy?
What are my boundaries?
Where do I need to say no calmly and firmly?

Stressor Number 3: Old memories and loneliness
The holiday season is a time of togetherness, but for some it can be a time of loneliness and sadness. You may be far from friends and family, single or grieving a loss. Memories of loved ones who are gone or broken relationships may surface, further reminding you  of what or who is missing this year. Journaling these feelings can help.  A creative approach is called humor therapy. Make a list of comedies you want to see and keep your spirits up. Another way to stave off the blues is to reach out to new friends or attend a social meet up group.

If you’re feeling trapped by old memories or are feeling especially sad, try to stop and ask yourself these questions:
How do you want to deal with these memories when they arise?
How can I feel included and share in the joy others are revelling in?
What activities make you feel good during hard times?

Stressor number 4: Putting on a happy face
Every year we do things out of obligation or duty. You may force yourself to interact with people you would not necessarily hang out with, but you do so because you are related and it’s expected.  How do you want to respond when good old Uncle Chuck razzes you about your casual attire or Aunt Jane asks you when you are going to marry that nice girlfriend of yours?  The holidays tend to be a time when tired family issues are rehashed. Relatives may consciously or unconsciously push your buttons. .

Just because you are related does not mean you have to spend time with these people or act like all is well. Sometimes the best thing IS to remove yourself from the situation and form your own loving and supportive family. If you choose to be in this situation, focus on how you are going to act in certain situations and know you cannot change anyone else.  Taking a time out and deep breathing may also be helpful in intense situations.

If you are going to be around family and friends and feel anxiety about it, stop and ask yourself these questions:
What is good about this situation? Is it worth it?
What is the cost to participate in drama?
What do I need to do in order to be ok?
How can I be different?

The next few weeks are bound to be interesting, exciting and challenging. Plan ahead and create a strategy to deal with your top stressors and experience a little more “Comfort and Joy” this year.